RUMINATIONS is a NEW segment of the BLOG. This page will share the moments of soul searching from Neel’s life. Hope his introspection becomes a source of motivation for others.

Diary Entry :   Journey Begins… SATURDAY…28-01-17 1408 hrs

“Regret
…you have not been selected for the next stage of shortlist for interview… “


The computer screen displayed the message for the tenth time. It has become a ritual now for me to linger on a hope to take a step towards my dream only to find myself standing far away from it. It was the sixth and the last time that I appeared for business school entrance exam and did fail again to get into the interview rounds. The whole journey of 6 years came before my eyes…surmounting my mind…overshadowing my senses. The ultimate agony and distress of failure hit me hard this time and I wanted to run away as far away as possible…away from society…away from this race…away from myself…But here I am writing back to myself in a hope to alleviate my stress…

I have spent the past few days lamenting about the outcome of my perseverance and honest efforts to secure a seat in a good business schools. What should I do next?…must be the million dollar question for me…but I must apprise you that people have already given their precious speculations about it…some say that since even after my sixth attempt I could not succeed, I should understand that this is no more my cup of tea…others say to go for other fields of studies…as if those were a cake walk and every guy next door could hit a bulls-eye in them…there are few who just wants me to go for whatever college I can get into only to be able to leave my current place…But I live by my CHOICE and wont compromise them since these DECISIONS and CHOICES of mine are what define me…

Yeah I have spent sleepless night and tonight is one of those too when I lie awake talking to myself….listening songs and pouring out my heart on you while carrying the burden of my obscure destiny……Now since I realized I did not have any such person with whom I can share my emotions truly and get a worthy advice…I therefore thought it was better to talk to someone who can listen to me with complete patience and so here I am spilling my emotions on you, my diary.

I cannot end this note on dismal tone…no matter how sad I am…Everyone says everything happens for a reason…but few believe in it…include me as a non- believer…but now this is the only hope that walks beside me…It makes me realize the extent to what I have gone crazy for the things that have failed me…to develop passion for the things that have mentioned my qualities to be non-concurring within their world…I might have lost the battle to this day…but one thing I promise to myself and to you that no matter how low I feel and how lost I seem…I will come back strong and prove them wrong since I can and I will…watch me…

Each failure has taught me to stand and face the next obstacle and then to move on the road ahead. Thus this failure too can falter me for a moment but cannot deter me of my path. I have chosen my journey and I cannot give up the commitment that I had promised her- my journey.
Huhh, now it is only me and her…I do not know what destiny awaits me at the end…but one thing I can say for sure…

hold me and I will try to run again…
stop me and I will start again….
defeat me and I will stand to win again…
I have started to love this journey and I will find always a way to meet her again…
I have promised to see her till the end and I cannot break that promise…
so here continues my journey again…!!!

Lets do this for 7th time…hell yeah !!!

Neel

PS : Diary, thanks for listening !!!